“I’m Not Getting Old! I’m Getting Better”

When I was 16, I had envisioned that by the time I was 23, I’d have a degree, engaged and ready to marry the love of my life. Who was I kidding ? 😂

7 years later, I am still single, praying for Mr, to open his eyes , looking for work,  and living out of a suitcase, some may say “living my best life”!

“The preparations of the heart in man, and the answer of the tongue, is from the LORD.” – Proverbs 16:1, could not be anymore truer than for me today.

If you told me last year that i’d be 11,954km away from my nearest & dearest for 3 months and spending my birthday in a different country altogether I’d be hesitant to believe it. But yet here I am in Santa Rosa, on the eve (Sydney time, technically I’m saying good night to the 19th 😂) of my 23rd birthday reflecting what a crazy rollercoaster this year has been for me. Emotionally & mentally.

The last couple of weeks, my faith has been tested and taken to a whole nother level. And it is still being tested today. If you follow me on my IG/Snap you’d know that I’ve been travelling interstate and now across the globe. But with 0 dollars in my bank account. Usually I wouldn’t put myself in this position. If I know that I personally can’t fund myself or another person, I won’t even leave my front door.

Okay, now you’re probably wondering “how the heck is this girl even affording to pay for all this travelling then..” 😂 I know I am still shocked that I was even able, to be very honest. Since i’ve started working, I’ve been a terrible saver and have survived by pay check to paycheck. However back in August, the business I used to work for, sold their book and paid me out. With that money, I naturally thought to save it and continue to pay my  bills with until I found another job. A week into staying at home, my old man than suggested that I take the free time I then now have to travel, which is what I’ve been wanting to do but haven’t had the time. So with his assurance,  I then decided to book my ticket to Cairns and to the States. Now here I am. Everything else in between, like accomodation, transportation and food etc, in respective destinations I didn’t worry about or have a second thought. I literally just took a leap of faith and went trusting God that somehow I was going to be fine.

These last few weeks have not only taught me not to only stress & worry less, but also to just to continue to live in the moment. Something that we are forgetting to do with social media, and technology becoming the norm.

23! I am as content as ever with my life and where I am at. So my birthday this year I am spending it away from  my nearest & dearest (you all know who you are)  and if you are reading this which I hope you are, I want to continue to remind you all today that I am so grateful and thankful for each and every one of you. The impact that you have made on my life, and the things that you continue to do for me. The fact that I am spending it away from you all is making tomorrow that much more special. To remind not only me of who I am grateful for and missing but for you all too. 😂😉 anyways I won’t go all sappy here. 😂 I love and miss you all!

So until I get back, i’ll continue to live in the moment.

Till my next post,  Au Revoir



Y’all better be blowing out candles for me or cutting a cake or taking a shot 😏

Road to Self Love

“Love yourself first because that’s who’ll be spending the rest of your life with.”

What is self love?

There are many ways to define self love and express it. It could be by simply loving yourself enough that you maintain your body, physically, mentally and spiritually above all else. If you want to get a more defined meaning it simply means to take care of your well being and happiness.


When was the last time you were truly happy with being you?

The truth is for me it was honestly just recently that I began to truly understand that self love didn’t only mean having ‘me’ times, treating myself to a mani/pedi, loving how good I looked in a pic because of the right filter/lighting but that it also meant loving & fully embracing the things I wish I could change.

We all face our own demons/mountains in silence. And in the age we are currently growing up in, social media plays a huge role in why it’s more important to have a self love above or else.

For as long as I can remember i’ve always struggled with my identity and really being proud of my background. I’ve never really said this out loud or truly spoken about it to anyone, but as I sit here and write this I’m also learning something new about myself. What sparked this idea of writing this post today and sharing it with you all was another blogger’s post on instagram #SeraSituations and how she to, I quote “coming to terms with the fact that I haven’t always been proud to be a Pacific Islander.”  I realised after reading this post, that I too grew up and struggled with being identified as Fijian for a very long time. 

Growing up in an area emerged in rich Asian culture (Canterbury/Campsie) from  preschool to primary school, my friends were either from a Vietnamese or Chinese background. I knew I was always envious of their straight hair, that I began to hate my wavy thick silky mane.  So for many years, I struggled with embracing and loving my hair. I remember (and my mother never misses to reminds me this) when I was 6 years old, I was cheeky as they come and cried to my Uncle that has always spoiled me since day one, to take me to the hair salon to dye my hair red. And my wish was his command. Got it done and my mother was yet again forever right 🙄🤣.  My silky wavy thick hair was ruined forever. At the time i didn’t care about the texture because I just wanted it to be red.

Fast forward to Year 5/6, I was then introduced to the ironing technique. Our family friend used to pick us up after school and we’d hang out at their house till my mother finished work. One day they decided to experiment on my hair in straightening it with the clothing iron. Lets just say for the next 4 years I slowly killed my hair even more by straightening it every single day. Not even exaggerating. On top of that i’d relax my hair so every 3 months or whenever I began to see a wave or curl peep through my baby hairs. What more could a 11 year old girl need then more tools to further tear down the art of self love and to every aspect of being Fijian?

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A big part of our identity is our hair. It is part of what makes us, us. Anyways, reached high school and that’s when my circle changed and I began to really associate with other Pacific Islanders. My best friends at the time all had beautiful straight hair and then there was me with this thick, wavy, springy/frizzy hair texture. I also remember that I wasn’t 100% happy with being called Fijian in school. I don’t blame anyone but myself, for this type of mentality. One thing I wish I could have that may perhaps could’ve prevented this sort of sense of confusion or alienation is having other Fijian friends in school, rather then only seeing them on the weekends. Five days a week I was with Samoans and Tongans and of course other ethnicity but majority of my time was with my fellow P.I brothers and sisters. It was like as soon as I stepped into the gates of my high school, I left my culture and background outside, and then adopted my friends backgrounds. I remember my best friend use to ask me to teach them a traditional Fijian meke and id guise the question and pretend that I didn’t hear her. And so the entire time I was in high school I or we only ever did a Siva or hula. It was only after graduating when my sister asked me for some help in choreographing a meke to teach her friends.. I only hoped that I could’ve gone back and taken the opportunity to also teach my friends.

Like I said in the beginning, I’m only coming to realisation of my actions and behaviour as a teenager as I am writing this and thinking back at how my perspectives & values have majorly changed for the better. 

I started off this blog post with a brief history in my struggle to find my identity because I strongly believe that in order to have self love you need to know truly who you are, why you’re here and have some sort of understanding of your purpose. I feel that if you don’t know who you are then how can you truly love yourself?

For the last year and a half I’ve been slowly going on the hair journey of going natural. Which basically means, not using any chemicals or heat to the hair. And as of February 2018 my hair length was longer then usual. Yes your girl was super excited because the last time I seen my natural hair reach past my shoulders was in 2008 (the picture above). (Shit 10 years ago.. lmao i literally just realised that). For the last couple of weeks or months I’ve finally started to embrace my natural hair more and it is because of the constant compliments i’ve been receiving about it. 

Anyways, my wisdom or what I’ve learnt that majorly has helped shift my mentality in loving and embracing everything God has blessed me with is this simple quote:

"You can't love others if you don't love yourself first; you can't give what you haven't got." - Unknown

I don’t think it needs any further explanation, but if you would like to discuss more on this topic then feel free to send me an email or DM. I’d love to hear your feedback or your journey/story on self love. 

Till my next post Au Revoir,


Witnessing My First Water Birth Experience!!!

On November 7th 2017 at 6:05pm by best friend, Milika, blessed this Earth with another beautiful sweet little boy. Being her 2nd son, we had hoped the year before that with her first seed, that i’d get to be apart of his delivery. Unfortunately that wasn’t the case due to so many factors. Anyways, she just posted today a little backstory on her pregnancies as well as her water birth experience which inspired me to write about my experience on FINALLY being apart of baby Isaac’s delivery, given that I haven’t had any children nor experience anything like this before. So if you’re keen to know how I handle this and my thought post being involved in delivering another woman’s child then I’m glad you’ve stayed and choosing to continue to read.

As I just mentioned, I have never experienced child birth, nor dared to google search videos on delivering a child. Pre boyfriends and children, (think we were fresh out of high school) we use to joke around that we’d both want to be in each other’s delivery room with our first seeds. In 2016 her time to have children came a lot quicker than we anticipated 😏😅😅🙄 and well so we thought I would get to be in the room with along with her partner and mum. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen. Leading up to the big day, everyone kept thinking that we were joking around, and thought it was insane to put us both in the room. If you know us personally and how we are when we are together it’s usually always just filled with laughter and never a dull moment. When we are together we could never be serious. Somehow we manage to turn serious situations into a laughing matter. So, with her first birth, given that we both literally do not know what to expect or have ever taken any birthing lesson or what not, it was for the best that I didn’t go into the room with her.

Fast forward, a year later, God blesses us yet again with another little stud muffin. Leading up to her due date, I was super excited. I knew that I was going to be apart of this delivery for sure, because she knew what to expect and how to handle everything. Phew! But yet again, everyone was still worried. Not so much for her but more so for me. Her family & our friends were’ not sure whether i’d be able to cope with watching a baby pop out or how I was going to take it post delivery. Anyways before she went into labour, I got to watch the video of her giving birth to Dominic. Instead of squirming at the sight of blood and her muscle stretching, I was quite intrigued at how crazy our womanhood is. Like God created that part so small and allowed it to expand and carry a human for 9 months and once the process was done be able to shrink back to the original size. Literally left me speechless.

After watching it as a little prep, I felt like I was ready. The week before her water broke, I then googled how to be the best support person when someone goes into Labor. I am glad I read it because:

  1. I certainly didn’t want to be the one getting sworn at instead of her partner for saying or doing all the wrong things and
  2.  I didn’t want to go in not knowing what to do or be in there waiting to expect the unexpected.

Anyways the big moment! Her contractions started at about 2AM when I got the text that they were 5 minutes apart. I was super excited I literally couldn’t sleep. Every 2 minutes kept jumping up in glee thinking it was time to go pick her and take her to the hospital. I don’t know why but in my mind I thought as soon as contractions kick in the next phase was baby coming out any moment. Oh boy was I wrong. Milika knew I was super excited and reassured me she would text once the contractions were more closer to each other by 2mins. That took another  5 hours. Earlier that morning I decided to continue by day as it would if she weren’t about to give birth. Got ready for work, and as I was about to walk out of the house at 6MA she calls to confirm whether i’d still be able to take her.  There goes my days pay.

Myself and my long time childhood friend Sisi were in the birthing unit examine room, and what do we do? Make fun and laugh at pretty much everything and anything, dance, listen to music and play with make-up. I’m sure the midwives thought she wasn’t ready to give birth, because we were in that freaking small room from 8AM and wasn’t given a bed till later that day at 4pm.

From 11AM Sisi had to leave for unforeseeable reasons which then left me myself and I and my girl with contractions that were intensifying by the hour. I remember feeling so helpless just watching her try to fight the pain. Without any words exchanged just hand movements being guided to where to massage I didn’t want to show her my mixed emotions. My poker face was being put to the test. Scared, worried, anxious, excited and hopeful. I didn’t know what to feel. So I did the best I could, by rubbing her back when she pointed to it and reminding her that she was strong and could do it. Looking back, even though childbirth pain was the curse God gave to us because of Eve’s disobedience, I decided to throw in a bible verse in hopes to give her more strength and empowerment “Philippians 4:13” as well as calling out Jesus’s name in Fijian a few times 😂😂

4pm came and we were finally transferred to a birthing room and the first thing she does is gets into a bathtub of warm water to help ease her back pain and contractions. Early that day when we first arrived in the examine room waiting for a doctor/midwife to come check her we were talking about the different ways women have given birth. I had read once somewhere that waterbirth was a less excruciating way to give birth. I didn’t expect her to actually take that route that day 😂 But thank God she did.

Watching how strong and independent she was in the water and be able to push a tiny fragile human being out has got to be one of the most treasurable, beautiful experiences I’ve ever experienced in my 22 years of living. From the moment of being able to see baby’s head try to come out and then hearing Isaac cry for the first time I will never forget.

As I mentioned earlier, I was more fascinated at how marvelous our God is rather than scared. If anything experiencing this, just made me more want to have children in the future. 😏

Milika, thank you for trusting and believing  in me to be by your side. It is an honor to watch and see you grow, and evolve into the strong mother you are. I can’t wait for you to return the favour when it’s my turn. 😜😂

Have you ever experienced somebody else give birth? What did you think about it? Would you choose to do water birth? I want to know. Let me know your views in the comment section below or send me an email – alice.leivere@gmail.com

Till my next post Au Revoir,





I asked God for a sign and He gave it

Well it’s been a long time coming since I published a post, please forgive me for the inconsistency but I’ve come to realisation my creativity comes from experiences and once I’ve opened my eyes and figured out the lesson life has thrown at me, I then truly have something to write about lol hence why they named me Alice?🤷😂 Nah im kidding but really, if there is anything I’d like to work on more this year, it would be to be more consistent in things I decide I want to start doing like, blogging, getting my health back on track (by health I mean loose all the weight I’ve put on in the last 2 years 😓and most importantly completing courses I started.

I was supposed to write a post about what 2017 taught me and then procrastination got the best of me and obviously didn’t get around to doing that and then I had a brilliant idea to write about something along the lines “New Year New Me?”  By the time I got to the 2nd paragraph (which was about two weeks ago when I was writing it) I got so bored. And thought you know what nobody is going to care much about what I want to do this year. Today however I was in the shower, I had a flashback of the most pivotal moment in my life. This might be long but there’s a reason why I’ve decided to write about it, and that’s because the way my life pans out can be very well be in my hand or left in God’s hand to control. And for you to basically get a little background on the story, i’ll give you a little juice. So take a seat, relax and get comfy.


When I was 15 years old I thought I had found the love of my life. My best friend. My soul mate. I hadn’t realised how much this human being could mean to to me till after I gave him my heart and he tore into pieces. I won’t go into all the depressing detail but you get the idea right?

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Technically it wasn’t all his fault. I knew before he asked me out what I was getting myself into. Because our relationship started off as friends, I knew him better than anybody else and knew that he wasn’t quite ready to have a girlfriend. Shit we both weren’t ready. We were 15!! My mum knew that but I didn’t listen. (See that’s why they always say listen to your parents kiddos😂Even though getting over him was the hardest thing to do, I remember telling myself I simply wanted him to be happy even if it meant not being with me. I also remember making the choice to allowing him back into my life because I missed how things were before our titles changed. As cheesy as this sound, I didn’t want a world without him in it so if it meant just being friends then so be it.😌


[Thought i’d share the photo I took post break up I think 4 days after, cut and dyed my hair too]

As time flew, we were over the stage of post-break up and getting things back to how it was before, and me getting use to the idea again of him dating other girls, things eventually did go back to normal. After high school we remained in contact but up until the end of 2015 going into 2016 we lost contact. We hardly spoke except for that one time I had a really bad weird dream about him. Mind you we had not spoken at all for at least 4 months when this dream occurred so it was quite weird. My dream was about us in the car just catching up like always, except this time I was dropping him off at home and as I dropped him off he was crying hysterically and I couldn’t make out why. Anyways, I woke up really upset and decided to message him that whatever he was going through he wasn’t alone and that I was always going to be there no matter what, when he was ready to talk to me or reply to my message I’ll be there. I even prayed for him. For God to give him that sense of relief & peace for whatever he was battling with. What made it more freakier was that a month later (I know he is a terrible communicator) he finally decides to reply to my message, stating that I was correct and on point with my dream and basically that he was going through the most darkest time of his life. Mentally, physically and emotionally.

We messaged a few times after that again, but that was that. I remember thinking to myself that I was constantly making time for people but felt like it wasnt reciprocated. So in 2016 I made a choice to not make plans with friends or family. If people wanted to contact or check up on me then they knew where to find me. I didn’t realise that i literally spent limited time with people till the 21st surprise birthday party my family threw me, where I finally saw all my friends & family that I hadn’t seen ALL YEAR! Which included him 🙄lol

Anyways after that, we didn’t come into contact again till Feb 2017. It was sort of weird of him messaging me first out of the ordinary, or I felt that it was weird because it was becoming normal to not be in contact with him or being filled in with the 411 on his life. To cut the story a little shorter, I finally got around to making time to catch up with him one Saturday and after that it became a little clearer that it was more of a see where things will go sort of stage. He admitted that he liked me more then friends evidently but was scared to jump into a relationship too soon. Duh I knew that once again. Thinking with a much clearer mind rather then that naive 15 year old girl, I understood how things needed to stay.

Oh boy was my heart full of glee!! The very person the 15/16 year old girl 6 years ago fell in love with was finally coming to his senses.  I am a firm believer in the quote:

"Whats meant to be will always find its way!"

So when he told me this, I had my guard up but was willing to take a chance with baby steps. We hung out a lot more and my mother began to catch on and was a concerned. Anyways, I brushed it off and reassured her we were just friends and nothing was going to happen. I went to Fiji for 2 weeks for our annual church conference in April, and while I was there I get this long as paragraph about his feelings and how I made him feel with my insta story post of the popular catch phrases these days “Catch flights not feelings”. I was a little surprised as that sort of stuff never really bothered him before. So anyways 3rd day of conference, one of the morning sessions was with Pastor Manasa Kolivuso and he was speaking about relationships. Now I was lucky enough, to have heard this sermon a year before when he came to Sydney for our Youth camp in 2016, so it was sort a reminder & confirmation for me at the perfect timing. In the midst of his preaching and a full church, my mind just went blank and the thing that came to mind was my friend, and something my mum had said to me before I went to meet with him one last time before flying out. Pastor Manasa had shared that it is vital that we pray for the right spouse and that we wait on God to reveal to us him or her. While he was speaking and everybody was taking down notes I decided to say a little inner prayer – “God if he is for me you will allow us to continue to talk when I get back to Sydney, and if not give me some sort of sign” . Simple easy prayer but I guarantee you, after that, I than truly understand & believe that  God always wants what’s best for you! 

A week goes by I am back in Sydney, two days before I landed, Mister had asked if we could meet later at the end of the week. I suggested to give me a couple of days to unpack and just get myself back into daily routine and work. However I actually couldn’t wait and wanted to see him the next day after I landed. So I shoot him a text to meet up. No response…

To this day, no explanation of what happened or why things shifted. 2 days passed and I still hadn’t received a reply. I was beginning to get mad but composed & held myself together.  Saturday came and just as I was about to send some crazy as text about how he said this and that now I knew where I stood, I went blank again and the little inner prayer I had prayed during Pastor Manasa’s session had flashback into my memory and reminded me that, this was what I asked God for.  He isn’t the one. 


So what I basically learnt from this and you can to is that, at the end of the day sometimes we need to take a step back & just ask God what He wants for us and whether we are doing things to get to where we want to the right way.

Let’s just say that if  I had not prayed that little simple prayer, who knows what or where or who would be in my life today. It’ll be a year since that simple prayer was prayed in April, who knows what God will bring into my life this year? 😉😀 It’s all in His hands.

What are your thoughts? I’d like to hear your experience. Send me an email alice.leivere@gmail.com

Until my next post Au Revoir,




Source: The Secret Garden

I’ve been wanting to write about this topic for a couple of weeks now and wasn’t happy with a few of the drafts i had made and if you know me, if I make or produce something I don’t like i wont give it or share it. Slightly a little miss perfectionist lol.

So anyways, I finally got my head into a space where I’ve collected all my thoughts & figured out the best way to type up my opinions & thoughts on sex, specifically on choosing to wait before marriage (hence the title). This is the part where you grab ya sister/s or some gal pals & get comfy. I believe I’m speaking to girls today who are maybe on a similar journey to me or maybe isn’t and is sexually active. Whichever path you are on, I wont judge, but my prayer is that hopefully this post inspires you to continue holding on to our v plates or you choose to become celibate. 



What inspired me to want to write on this topic was actually from a conversation I encountered during NYE 2016. A guy friend of mine introduced me to a girl I had seen a couple of times on social media. So anyways they had began talking about how many people they’ve each slept with. Strolling beside them as we were on our way down to Circular Quay, I hadn’t spoken a word. Calm & collected, just quietly laughing at their little quarrels & conversation.  It was my turn. how many guys had I ever done the deed with? 👉👌🙈 Now I could of lied & gave a random number to fit in & be cool, but i didn’t succumb to social standards & bluntly told her the truth that I was a virgin & intending to keep it that way till my wedding day. We had stopped walking. Both in shock they wouldn’t believe my answer! I started laughing at them for their disbelief. 

tenor (1).gifSo there you go ladies & gentlemen, we have this social standard or this assumption that by the time you’re 21 years old you must definitely be sexually active. 😮 I was shook. 

I was shook or for better words surprised, that they wouldn’t believe me that I was. I’m not sure what gave them the impression that I wasn’t but the idea that they’d assume just took me by surprise. 

I turn 22 this Saturday 🎉, and if there is one wish i’d like to come true, it would be that this post speaks to you or speaks to a friend you shared it with. When I turned 18 years old I made a promise to myself that I was going to continue to hold on to my V plates till Mr Right changed my last name. I am not going to lie, back then in my adolescent years (and still to this day) temptation just kept knocking at my door. Boys whispering sweet nothing. I’ve had my fair share of second guessing where I did contemplate situations 😏🤔😂. But for some reason, I somehow snapped myself out of these heated moments & remembered my worth. 

A conversation inspired me to write this, but what really motivated me to post & share it with you all was the trend I am beginning to see in my community, of young girls my age getting pregnant before the ring💍.  Girls, I personally know, who grew up in church and know right from wrong. I know that children are a blessing and a gift from God but wouldn’t receiving this gift be even more special when receiving it the right way? 

Besides emotions & a boyfriend influencing their decision to make that bed or take that path in life, I noticed that we didn’t have proper role models to influence us to keep our V plates. Sure, our parents & our church teaches that. But how many times have we been influenced by celebrities, our friends or people we follow on social media ?  

If you are someone that is also waiting till your wedding day or maybe you are someone that is already sexually active but have decided to be celibate, then here’s some reasons I’ve reminded myself (and you can use too), why waiting will be worth the wait!! 💁 

1. You are a priceless Gift – I always see on Pintrest boards and wedding videos of gift ideas that couples give to their significant other, apart from exchanging wedding bands. What a better gift to give to them that nobody else has ever touched or seen then giving them your purity that only they get to experience & deflower? 🌸 No price tag or jewel on this Earth can match what we each have to offer to the one that deserves it. Remember know your worth. Don’t settle for less then you deserve boo boo.  

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2. If he really loves you, he’ll wait  I use to think that if a guy told you i love you, then he was the one. Then I realised that anybody could say those 3 words and not mean it. So, with the power vested in me & all my will power, if he can wait too till we are married and that he respects my morals then he surely loves me. 

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3. You are a Living Sacrifice – At the end of the day our bodies don’t belong to us. They belong to Christ. We are held accountable to what we put into it. Both physically and spiritually. So, if we are putting stuff into our bodies that aren’t meant to be there, this will affect your relationships whether it is with Christ or people. “I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God,….Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind,…..what is good and acceptable and perfect”  Romans 12:1 Which leads into my next point that constantly reminds & scares me,

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4. Its not just a physical act, its far more deeper – There are physical, mental, emotional and spiritual aspects of sexual intercourse.  It wasn’t till I came across a post on Facebook outlining this and then hearing it in bible study the effects having sex outside of marriage has spiritually. Often emotional trauma associated with sexual immorality and it usually manifest itself in a variety of ways including the development of a soul tie. A soul tie is when one person’s soul to ties to another person’s soul.  In, 1 Thessalonians 5:23 – “Man is made up of three parts: spirit, soul and body.”  Soul ties are intimate bonds to another human being. So rethink before getting into bed with that man or woman do you really want their soul tied to yours if your not ready to commit to that person?

"Opening up our sexuality unlocks a whole new world of vulnerability within us that doesn't just affect us physically - but impacts our entire being - mind, body, soul and spirit." - Laura Toggs, The Secret Garden

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5. Is it really worth it? – And last but not least, i like to ask myself this question in general to any situation in life from buying a burger, a new pair of shoes, to going out. If you ever get yourself into a heated situation, ask yourself is it worth going there with this guy/girl? Is he worth undermining your morals & standards? Is he or she worth soul binding with? 


And so that ladies and gentlemen are 5 points that have kept me accountable in ensuring that I continue to uphold my promise to my 18 year old self. 

In a fast paced world & standards being lowered we need more young men & women more then ever to empower & teach that its okay to be a virgin and to continue to teach how to maintain that purity. 

Please if you are someone that needs more encouragement, message me or let me know what you think. I’d love to hear your opinions and thoughts.

Till my next post, Au Reviour!







Are you content?

“To be content doesn’t mean you desire to have more, it means you’re thankful with what you have and patient for what’s to come.” –  Tony Gaskins

PSA: I wrote this blog post exactly a week ago (24/7/17). Took me awhile to actually post it, because I wasn’t merely ready to share such a personal event that’s not only mine but my also my family’s. This is my testimony

Its taken me awhile to think of a really great post to write and share. Particularly a specific topic I feel I have experienced well enough to share & elaborate about. This next blog post was utterly spur of the moment. My brain was literally vomiting words at 7:19AM on a Monday morning, in a train semi-full after pondering on the word content. I thought to myself, am I content with where I am at life? Content with what I have?

To be content is easier said then being done. I say this out of experience because I use to say or think I was content until one day I wanted more, I wanted bigger & I wanted better. I supposed it’s okay to want a better shot at life, being successful etc. but when do I draw the line and just be happy with where I am and just take life as God gives it and just work harder to be better rather than have better?

My journey or road to discover that I had become the very person I did not want to be began during September 2015 when our rental contract for the 3 bedroom house my family and I called home for almost 5 years had come to an end. Left with no alternative but to find another house to call home. Around this time I had been working at my first ever office job, for my Great Aunt as her administrative assistant whilst“trying” to adapt to first year of studying at university (i’ll save that for another post). Accumulating my own income, my thoughts were running wild on all the possible things I could accomplish that required money. RSA licence. New bedroom furniture. Flasher clothes. New phone. New shoes. A car? Yes indeed a very materialistic list. It was then when I became discontent, subconsciously unaware that I was the very person I didn’t want to be.

Due to the contract being void at the end of the month, we literally had a week to find a place to move. This all happened, leading up to our church’s annual Australia Conference, held in Gold Coast. One week till the conference, as well as find a house to move into. Parents were worried for multiple reasons (but we all know more so my mum lol),  but my siblings & I on the other hand had no clue of the severity if we had not vacated the premises before leaving for the conference. Had we not, we’d probably would have not been able to go back and collect our valuables. Due to the short time span, we moved into a 2 bedroom house that had been vacant for a couple of months and belonged to one of my father’s many acquaintances.

From a 3 bedroom spacious house with a swimming pool, to a small house with 2 bedrooms and a car sales yard as our backyard, it was a massive change and shift to our normality. It’s sad to say & look back that I was very unhappy. Unhappy that I had to share a bedroom with my sister and brother. That I had no privacy or place to hang my clothes or display my shoes. For awhile I was so used to having my own little space to wind down, & just have to myself, I forgot what it was like to share a bed or bedroom. I remember the first few weeks in this new “temporary house” we’d call home, I’d complain day in day out that it was too small, that our boxes & strip bags (every Fob household would surely own a couple & have stored away in their garage lol) were constantly in the way, that we had no place to hide or store everything so that we could invite friends over. I remember being ashamed to tell my closest friends or even show them our “temporary house”. And if they did come over, I’m sure I repeated this phrase numerous of times “Oh its our temporary house till we find a bigger place to move into.” A friend one day came over & snapped me to my senses that it was better then sleeping outside. It wasn’t probably until last mid-year after moving there that I realised that I complained way to much then I should of & that I didn’t realise that this small house was a blessing in disguise. Life’s test for my family or more so for myself I should say. I then began to shift my perspective & really appreciate that there was a roof over my head & lets face it that I’m able to even be still living at home with my parents at 21 lol. (they’ll never get rid of me)

Fast-forwarding 20 months later, we’ve finally moved into a bigger house to accommodate my entire family. Woo, FINALLY! Whilst packing up our belongings that were scattered everywhere, it made me reminiscence about the amount of times I complained but more so of the times we’d fight over & shotgun the bathroom over who got to use it first lol. In a blink of an eye, we shifted our normality once again from one corner of Western Sydney to the other.

269 woodville rd

This 2 bedroom house has taught me a lesson:

  1. Disguised blessing – I honestly started to think God was punishing my family for not answering our prayers for a bigger house and for that I didn’t see the bigger picture. God sometimes has to bring us down to allow us to get closer to Him. Maybe my family and I was not seeking God enough that He allowed us to downgrade & start from the bottom to be able to truly appreciate something greater and bigger. How can God trust us with something bigger & greater when we can’t even appreciate something small? My Pastor, is an inspiration when it comes to taking a leap of faith and being content. A lot of people pointed fingers and attempted to plant negative thoughts when He proposed his calling was to plant a church in the heart of Sydney. Left & right people, would plant discouragement. That he wouldn’t be able to afford rent or find a property to house the congregation every Sunday for worship.  However that did not waver him. From day one till today He constantly reminds us that “great things always start small”. Until you can learn to appreciate the small things, God will grant your every desires. Yes, my church is still on that journey of growth just as the church next door, & until then, I guess we as a church family will all be learning to appreciate each other & how we all can play apart in it’s growth. So when you get put into an uncomfortable, unexpected position in life whether it be living standards (in my instances) look at it as, God blessing you in small doses & preparing you for when success, achievement or reward comes.
  2. Gods Children are highly favoured – “… For the Lord your God goes with you, He will never leave you nor forsake you…” – Deuteronomy 31:6 His word surely stands today and forever more. Two things could’ve happened if we had not moved before attending the conference. One – loosing everything we owned and two no place to call home (better word to put it – homeless). This scripture is a testament to God’s Grace and that He is sufficient and more than enough for us. When my family needed him the most, He was there listening & provided our very need. Even though it took me awhile to wrap my head around it & appreciate it, He never failed to provide.
  3. 3rd world problems are minor setbacksHaving a decent roof over your head, food on the table, clothes on your back, shoes on your feet, freedom to worship God  etc, is far better then someone else living in a war-torn country or the person that is living on the streets. Seeing news articles and coverage on whats happening around the world, definitely gave a reality check. Life’s too short to be moping around wishing we had a bigger house or to be like other glamorous people we follow on Instagram.

Maybe you to are going through a similar circumstance, or maybe just having a hard time appreciating life in generally. Look at it this way, if you’re not in the position or time frame you’d hope to be, just remember this “Every season serves a purpose”I hope my experience can teach or remind you to be content today.

Day 3 in our house and counting. To new beginnings and appreciating the small things in life.39 wilber (2).png

Till my next post, Au Reviour!


Picking up where I left off?

never-give-up-great-things-take-time-quote-1Cliche move to make in this day & age id say. Create a blog & hope to God it booms with subscribers/readers or a YouTube channel with fans whom think your life is just a little more interesting then theirs. Whatever the reason or opinion you might have as to why I even wanted to start something like this or shall I say jump on the “blogger bandwagon” you’re maybe 100% correct.

Why I say that? Well I came up with  so many pros & cons to begin something like this and those two examples were on that list lol

With anything in life I personally think that we all need a little push & motivation from somebody (or maybe just an experience to be inspired) to be able to go out & succeed whatever it is we have dreamt of simply succeeding at.

So anyways, i began my blog a year ago, posted two blog posts that at the time (looking back & re-reading it) was a time i obviously was probably at my lowest & was trying to find a way to vent & just let my emotions be free. It may have been short but alot of thinking went into composing it. I remember after i wrote & posted it, I began to doubt myself. Doubt my knowledge. Doubt the sort of impact i’d if i had shared my blog. Pretty much doubt whether my posts would even be read or at least inspire/help another person. That word DOUBT literally chewed up my vision to continue to write on my blog thus leading me to forget that i once wanted to start this project.

A week ago today, a friend of mine posted on her IG story that she too started a blog. As you do following curiosity & her instructions, i clicked the link she had saved in her BIO. As i read her first blog post and bio i was amazed & inspired. I was amazed that she started something that she had a passion for & that she also had the courage to share it to her social media platforms. What really stood out for me & inspired me to finally pick up where i left off, start writing & also share my blog post with family, friends & insta followers was her words of encouragement. After i messaged her back, thanking her for inspiring me to finish what i started, “Just Do it! You never know who is sitting on the other end of that screen waiting to read some written goodness”  Her, personally telling me, that i dont know who is on the receiving end of the screen. Mind opening & new perspective was born.

The original vision of this blog was limited, but you know what “the Sky is the limit” and the only person stopping me from succeding my visions, goals & dreams is ME! 

In saying that, my mind has exploded with alot of topics i could sit and draft up & just have fun creatively write about. This post being one of them.

Thank you Sera for being that extra little push in my life. Everyone needs that extra little push & motivation. 🙂

One step at a time.


Till my next post, au reviour





Check Sera’s blog out – serasituations.wordpress.com/

Controlling Happiness 

They say the ones you love the most are usually the ones that tend to hurt you the most. 

Sometimes I question my capability in whether to continue to love them through & through even when they steal my happiness time & time again. 

The question is why do humans do that? I mean life is given to us & we are taught that the choices we make have consequences. Choices are what define & make us. 

But what if we couldn’t have the choice to eliminate that person entirely from your life because you know deep down inside of you, you know morally it isn’t right. Taught & reminded to honour the elderly, your mother & father. Deep down imprinted in your heart. 

I’m bottling it all in… 


The story behind about how my mother conceived me intrigued my youthful mind the time I was sixteen. As I sat in curiosity after being inquisitive and having a geez at their marriage certificate I realised the date of the their commemoration as one, didn’t make any sense to their teaching of ‘no sex before marriage’. 

As you do, being that curious teenager I asked my first best friend what happened with a smirk? She simply just laughed it off & said ‘shit happened! And life went on.’ 

Long before my parents were an ‘item’ my mother, average height, slim, light skin Fijian beauty, hated my father, tall, built, dark chocolate man  with a passion. She made sure he knew of her despise, loud & clear. But that didn’t stop him from persuing her. Doing everything he could to get her attention every Saturday night at the Cross, of course buying her drinks with money he borrowed from her without her knowing, she didn’t think twice to change her mind. She was one of the ‘boys’ kind of girl therefor couldn’t stand the bitchyness some women her age contained. At the time she lived with a relative & allowed the dark chocolate man move in during his messy divorce. Light skin beauty had no clue till one day seen this guy that wouldn’t take ‘no’ for answer at the breakfast table & his basket of clothes in the middle of their lounge room. Given that it was a share house & not hers, she had no choice but to live & tolerate what she thought she hated! Time went by and she began to stop fighting, resisting & running from whom held her offsprings. Learning to love him & still today, the rest is history. 

Saturday 21st October 1995 at 2:45AM, King Geroge II Hospital, Camperdown. A legend was born!!!

Twenty years later, I am excited to say I’ve been taught, seen, experienced a lot of things you wouldn’t learn as a teenager! Mature for my age I’m an old soul! This is my story.. ❤️